Just trying to tick off the locals

Here is something you might not know about me. I’m sad to say but I am a vindictive person. Let me explain, I am a country person, I grew up in a small town, I have never lived in the “big city” so my outlook on things might be a bit skewed. As most of you know I live in a little town called Princeton, Well on my road there are a grand total of 5 houses all about a ¼ mile apart from each other. I get along with every person on my street except for two. The old people just down the road. It may sound a little politically incorrect for me to call them old people but I have lived here for 6 years and I don’t even know their names PLUS we live in America I can say what ever I want and If me calling them old people has offended you in some way? Then you need to hit yourself in the head with a tack hammer. Sorry I got off track. So these two people have decided they just do not like me. So I took it upon myself to find out why. Is it because I am a young person and young people are the spawns of Satan? Or is it because of the following…

A little after a year of living Princeton my wife bought me a wonderful birthday present. She took me out to a farm and let me pick out a puppy. I had a dog when I was a kid and I loved that thing so much but then it got carried away by an owl (that is a completely different story) Well seeing how we lived in the country I believed my wonderful new puppy dog would be just fine off of a leash. Well one day while I was sitting at home I got a phone call from then neighbors down the road I didn’t get to the phone in time so I let the machine get it and I heard this little old lady screaming into the phone that my dog was at her house and I needed to come get it right now and she sounded angry. So I hop in the car drive down there and pick up Hershey. She met me at the front door and was all smiles and happy go lucky and told me how beautiful my dog was and how it wasn’t a problem for her to be down there. That ticked me right off, but I smiled and took my dog back to my house. Well this whole scenario played itself out 3 or 4 more times that fall.

Christmas 2003, Brooke and I are heading back from my parents house, we are heading down the road and what do I see?? The neighbor’s dog in my yard. My mind started thinking of the joy I was going to get calling them and telling them to come get their dog, but when we pulled in the drive he ran back, and I noticed we had a much bigger problem. The neighbors dog had some how broke into our barn and got my dog ALL KINDS OF KNOCKED UP…I was very, very angry. I wanted to march down there and punch that dog right in the mommy and daddy button, but I refrained I decided that I would be more tactful with my payback, so every 4th of July , New years Eve, Or anytime I feel like it really I ….well I shoot things at their house. Now let me clarify. I don’t shoot bullets or anything I shoot blank loads nothing but black powder. I make booms loud enough to shake their walls and rattle their windows. I shoot everything from my colt .45 revolver to my dad’s ½ scale field artillery canon. Does this make me a bad person? I personally think I am venting my anger in a completely normal and unpsychotic way although I think most Dr’s would say otherwise. Well Sorry for the rambling and really the stupidity of this whole thing..